Why I Don’t Do Online Dating (for now)

Online dating in midlife is not for the faint of heart.

Having not married yet, I have done it off and on for years. Right now, I am in an off mode.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to meet someone great for me. But, I’d like it to be a bit more organic. Like at an event I’m attending or doing something I love. Which poses a challenge, as I find many good men these days are hesitant to approach women in public. And being an introvert, I can be quite shy and cautious and am a homebody. So there’s that.

Everyone knows someone who met their mate online, including my brother who met his perfect match, seriously they are perfect for each other. I am well aware that these things happen. But, it hasn’t happened for me just yet.

When I have done online dating, I found that many men don’t really care about their profile. Even on the paid subscription sites. Yes, even on E-Harmony, and Match. (I can hear my sisters asking the question as I type). It feels as though the majority of men slap something up with very few words that are in text speak or lack any grammar. This is quite annoying to me since I’m a self-described word nerd.

One of my biggest pet peeves of online dating profiles is the pictures. I mean, this is the equivalent of the 30 seconds to make a great first impression, but the lack of caring about this is astounding. I wouldn’t believe half the things men share if I hadn’t seen them with my own two eyes.

For example, I’m not entirely sure where the idea of taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror showing the mess and the toilet (seat up of course) was shared as a good idea but, this is definitely a trend with men of all ages and it’s appalling. And there are soooo many pics of men holding fish & dead animals. I wonder if they realize they are on a DATING site and not Field and Stream? I haven’t found one friend that finds these attractive.

Well, except maybe Connie. She married her fisherman. And they met online. So maybe there’s something to be said for those fishy pics.

So let me rephrase this. The bathroom, fish, and dead animal pics are not for me.

The kind of men I’m attracted to online care about themselves, and the process of attracting a high-quality someone (because it is a process). I’m more interested in men who put up a variety of pics that show them out doing what they love, wearing clean clothes; dressed up or casual, without a drink in their hand in every one, outside of their bathroom or car. Is that too much to ask? Oh, and who actually fill out the description of what they’re looking for and who they are. That would be a big help.

There are many lazy people out in the world right now. I miss the days when men had to actually call you to ask you out. And when you did go out they showed up like they actually cared about the date; on time, in clean clothes, showered, opened the door, had manners, didn’t keep their phone out. I know, I know, they didn’t have phones back then, but you get my point.

I also know I sound jaded. It’s because I am. Hence the reason I am taking a break from online dating.

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How about you? Are you online dating? What are your pet peeves in the process? What do you like about it? Tell me in the comments.

If you’re interested in learning about the most common online dating terms for beginners, I wrote a blog about it here.

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