12 Things I’ve Discovered About Midlife (So Far)

What the heck is midlife?

A quick Google search brings up this definition:

mid·life/midˈlīf/ noun: midlife; noun: mid-life the central period of a person’s life, generally considered as the years from about 45 to 55. synonym: middle age – Oxford Dictonary

Personally, I believe it’s a wider age range, such as 40-70. But, really it could be whatever you want it to be. As my parents taught me growing up, everyone is somewhere in the middle. There will always be others who are older and younger than you.

How did this happen?

However you think about it, at 51, I’m smack dab in the midst of it. how did this happen?

Before we go into the whole – ‘well, you were born, and then grew up, etc.’ Let’s just agree that I know how I just can’t believe it is here. Seriously.

I remember when my parents were in their 50’s and I thought they were soooo old.

And now here I am.

It’s mind-blowing. Especially since I still feel like I’m in my 20s some days (and then reality hits – see the first point below).

I always take a pause when one of my friends of the same age says their kids have graduated from college.

It doesn’t seem possible.

I mean, I just turned 30, didn’t I? Then I remember, if I had kids, mine would most likely be doing the same thing. Weird.

What I’ve Discovered

While this middle age thing has been coming on like a freight train creeping up on me, I have started discovering some things:

Learning how to deal with the challenges of an aging body; The physical (where do those random aches and pains come from anyway?), and emotional and hormonal changes – I’m talking to you, menopause. Grrr.

The thoughts of mortality have gotten a little more frequent. I wonder who will take care of me in my later years since I don’t have a spouse (yet) or any offspring.

These thoughts motivate me to take better care of myself, so I can live a long and healthy life.

Saving and investing for retirement has a new meaning and have a higher priority spot on the to-do list, as retirement is closer than we think. I’ve upped my percentage of the 401k savings and think twice more often before purchasing anything.

I’m not perfect – this is definitely a work in progress. #thestruggleisreal

If you’re lucky to still have any of your parents, there can be the adventure of helping and caring for them if they are in ill health. Or even if they’re healthy, having them live with you or balancing your life to spend time with them.

One thing I need to remind myself about is how much my parents sacrificed for me and taught me, including how to read and write. Without them, I wouldn’t be writing this blog now.

Or have experienced as much as I have in my life. And for that I will always be grateful.

My mom has so much to teach me, still. So, when she repeats the same sentence or says something I said like it was her idea, I try to smile and listen again.

Patience is truly a virtue and unfortunately, I don’t have as much as I wish. I have to remember when I was a child and repeated things over and over again – she had that same patience (probably better).

I also have to remember she has nine kids and a slew of grandkids, who she talks to on a regular basis, so I can’t blame her for not remembering if she told me something or not.

There’s a feeling of freedom I’m experiencing. For example, other’s opinions of me have nothing to do with me. And I finally know it, in my bones.

Which are strong by the way. I know this because I go to my doctor regularly and had a bone density test.

Yes, this is something I’ve discovered recently, there are a whole bunch of new tests you need to have done in midlife.

If I’m being honest, which I am, there have been more than my share of pity parties. Feeling sorry for myself for not finding my guy yet. Or not being in the same position as some of my friends and family, financially.

There’s also been lots of thinking about who I am as a person, and how I got to be where I am. And what needs to change to get me where I want to be.

I’ve also experienced some anxiety (panic attacks) and low-level depression since hitting midlife. Fun times. Not.

There’s been a lot of trying to figure out what the meaning of my life is and wanting to do something different than I’ve been doing.

Somehow making a difference in other’s lives, in a new way.

Starting this blog is a part of this search. I’ve wanted to do something for a long time, but for some reason have been playing small at the same time.

I used to be carefree, confident, and independent in my 30’s and early 40’s. Jumping in with both feet, and figuring it out as I went.

And each year after say 45, I continually found myself going inward and becoming less of what I once was; more timid, insecure, and almost afraid of trying new things or failing.

I was uncomfortable in my skin, both physically and mentally. Thanks menopause. Jerk.

Recently, I’ve worked hard to balance my hormones, with my doctor. I’ve also started eating better, removing carbs and sugar from my diet, drinking a ton of water, getting more sleep, taking supplements, and even exercising and meditating some.

As a result, I’ve started to find that carefree and confident woman who likes herself again.

It’s good to have her back, I’ve missed her.

How about you? What have you discovered lately about being in Midlife? Tell me in the comments.

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